September 21, 2013

Dear Lord...
I want to thank-you for giving me life. For giving me friends. For giving me family, both biological and not. You are truly amazing in the way you make our lives work. But I'd like to put in a letter to my readers today, to express how much you have done for me....


Tonight I went to a party at some good friends' house. I got to talking with a man who is both an adopted uncle and sort of a second father to me. We talked about life, and we talked about death, and the parts that feel in between. 

My life burdens me. I push it off, try to let it go, and go on, just like every other person on this earth. I keep beating my records for hardest time in my life. For example this last winter when EJ was born. That is a time I will never want to relive. looking back on that awful week, I'm not sure how I got through it. I don't even remember most of it. But I remember seeing him in the hospital for the first time, with all the wires hooked up to him, and I remember crying. because he was alive. And that made it worth it.

But other people have gone through problems, and they don't have the amazing family I do. And I pray for them every time I think of that time in that tiny hospital room. Because if it wasn't for my family, I never would have gotten through that time. 

Do you know how I define family? Someone who you would not only give your life for, but who you would trust with your life. You can really like someone, be really good friends, or even be related to someone, but would you put your life in their hands? Would you let them save you? Because that is exactly what Jesus asks us to do. He put his life in our hands, and we took ti away from Him. Now he asks that we give our lives to him, so that he can give it back. Don't you realize how awesome that is? 

Your life is not your own, but that also means the burdens that come with it, you don't have o carry those alone either. He's there for you.

Don't ever forget that.

September 13th 2013

Dear God...
Why are you always so good to me? When I have a really hard day you give me some one to talk to. When I need some one to make me laugh, when I need someone to make me cry on their shoulder who cared, you gave me someone to talk to who did all of those things. Why do you love me so much , Yahweh? You give me friends, and those closer than friends, and I can never repay you for that.

I guess that's the point, though, huh?

I can never repay you, Lord. In return I will try to live my life out shining you through my heart. I know I will lose my way sometimes, no matter how hard I try, but you have always turn me back around. Because you love me anyway.

Not nearly enough love from,
Moriah

September 11 2013

Awesome Lord,
Please help me to take criticism gently. To accept others' view as well as my own.
Love,
Moriah

September 8th 2013

Thank-you Yahweh for answering my prayer and protecting my brother today. Things could have turned so much worse.
I love you more than is possible,
 Moriah

September 5th, 2013

Dearest Friend~
Today was pretty good.I had some lovely bonding moments with my coworkers when the phones went down. And then came tonight. I went upstairs to write, and then was asked to hold the baby. Then that apparently ruined my evening. I misconstrued everything said, snapped at people, and cried a gallon of tears for, looking back, no reason. why do you bother with me, God? I'm a perfect image of what  good daughter shouldn't be, but you love me anyway. And help me through it. Please help me to be thankful for You as you master the servant's heart that I feel sure resides somewhere deep inside me.
Not nearly enough love from,
Moriah

September 1st, 2013

Dear God,
Wow. You are truly one who listens. This afternoon, I was feeling very dissatisfied with me and my life. One of my best friends is leaving this week and she won't be back until almost Christmas. I've been rethinking my life so often I should have a dry erase board so I know what I currently think. And then you gave me someone to talk to. You gave me a job to do. You made me feel needed. And gave me happiness with out my even knowing that that was what I needed. You are truly awesome, Father. Thank-you for caring about me even when I don't care about me.
Love from,
Moriah

August 28th 2013

Lord...
Thank you for always listening. A Father who always understands who I am and always has a moment to listen means so much to me, Lord. On that note, please help me to keep a level head today. Waking up was not pleasant and I'm feeling tired...
Moriah

August 22nd 2013

Great King, who Was, Is, and Shall be...
It's been one of those days. You know, because You've been watching. Like you always do. Well, between getting over a cold, getting lost this morning, and how the normal work day stress, I came home today very, very, emotionally tired. Today was one of those days where I felt untalented, ungifted, and like I can't do anything right. Mom often says You make everyone perfect for their purpose in life, that You, the Great Potter, will use me to your will.

But how? And when? I'm almost 18 now, and I feel like adulthood is looming over me. I know what I want to do with my life, but I don't know what you want me to do with my life. People always say that You'll take lives in directions they never thought they'd go. Is that what You want for me? Or am I to have a normal life? Because normal isn't really my thing. I want to be out there! I want to join a protect and scream at congressmen. I wan to write a bestseller and amaze the world by giving the funds back to You. I want to raise a family as big as the Duggars, and share Your story as they have. But that's what I want.

Yahweh, I know that You have turned water to wine and that You have given the blind sight. But there are days where I think that those must have been so easy compared to leading me. I am such a pig-headed diva! I don't listen, I always want to be in charge, and I'll get lost in the woods before asking anyone for help. What use could Your kingdom have for me?

Luke 14:33 says" In the same way, those of you who do not give up everything you have cannot be my disciples." Lord I want to be one who is willing to give up everything for you, but more often I am the man who built his house on sand. Sure sand looks nicer that a big, old, boulder. And yes, I'd love to bring my friends in to show them my castle on the beach. But this isn't about my will. It's Yours. help me to not care what you give me, Lord. As long as I am my foundation is on Your rock, I'll try to follow joyfully. And with your help, I will. 
Your submissive servant-
Moriah.

August 8th, 2013

Righteous judge-
Thank-you for forgiving me... Despite myself.
Amen

July 12th, 2013

 To He who is Good but not tame-
While praying with one of my younger sisters tonight, I realized how much I've been letting my own prayers go slack.Please help me to see you as a friend to keep connected to on a day to day basis. Because you should be the one I think of day and night.
Love from-
Moriah

February 19th, 2011

Dear Yahweh~I'm sorry I haven't written here recently. It's been more than two weeks! And so much has happened since then! Raquel came home, I turned 15, Elsie turned11, and even more! Today was my birthday party, and it didn't go as planned. But I know that YOU are in control and that you always have a plan unlike your unfaithful daughter who so often ignores Your Word! Lord, I've been thinking lately(dangerous business, I know), how in the Ginny Owens song, "Call me Beautiful", the first verse nearly describes me nearly to a T:
I've been waiting
For a hero who's brave and strong
Someone to love me
Someone to tell me I belong
So I pretend I'm satisfied
And I stand watching on the sidelines
Till You pull me into the light
And say, 'It's your turn now 
welcome to your life'
And You call me beautiful
And say You've loved me all along
And You've always held the keys
to unlock my soul
Oh, You call me beautiful

Lord, why do you love me so much? You call me beautiful! You love enough to call me beautiful! Even me! For me, that is something inconceivable. I can't imagine someone who can see all of the sins I commit and what I think call me beautiful? Help me to remember your love at all times, especially when I feel so alone!
Your daughter, who You call beautiful,
Moriah

Groundhog Day, 2011

Oh my Lord~

Thank-you for keeping us safe during the blizzard and blackout, despite Margary setting her hair on fire and the hot water not quite working for a while. Thank-you for keeping my heart at peace throughout these last two days, Prince of Peace. Today was just wonderful! I got to talk with Raquel for about and hour and it was simply Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious! (Yes it really did mean that much to me!) And in February, this month of Thankfulness, today I am thankful for a family who loves me even as I am, and who is nowhere near perfect, but wonderful just the same.

Yours, not my own,

Moriah

February 1st 2011 (short note)

Dear Lord~

I know it's usually my tradition to write every night, but today

has gone so unusually well, that I had to. I'm writing to thank your everlasting

mercies in letting us video chat with Raquel today. It has really lifted

my spirits!

Respectfully yours,

Moriah

January 31st 2011

My Dear Father in heaven~

Today was one of those bitter sweet days. I heard form

Raquel for the first time since the wedding, but Papa left for SC

this morning. This whole month has been very bitter sweet, with the wedding,

and some of my dearest friends moving to a different church, and Daddy traveling so

much. It's been one of those months where I'm glad I have You...

And now I'm here listening to music and writing to Someone dearer to me than anyone, anywhere. Yahweh, help me to remember that in all my troubles. That You Are Above ALL. There is nothing that can tear us apart, not even Satan at his best. You will always be there, and

you will never change, or stop caring about me. Thank-You, Yahweh, for

being there for me!!

Lots of love,

Moriah, Your daughter through Christ.

January 28th 2011

Father in Heaven~

Please help me through this difficult time of changes. There are so many changes in my life right now, and I can't see the life I wanted to have. Help me to understand that Your life is better for me than I can imagine, that not all the puzzle pieces are in yet

In your son's holy and awesome name,

Moriah

January 27th 2011

Dearest Father~

As I sit here tonight writing this to You,

I know only too well that I have not done well today,

and that I have no right to assume you will listen to me.

That I have not loved my siblings when I ought,

and I have ignored You and your Spirit, and I have not

obeyed your Holy and Awesome Word. But I also know that

You DO listen, for the sake of your son, Jesus Christ.

And in his name I pray, O Father, that you create in me a

new spirit, so that I may love You with my whole heart, soul and mind.

In your son's name, who lived and died for me,

Moriah, your un-holy daughter.

January 26th 2011

Dear Jesus~

Thank-You so much for dying for me, a worthless

sinner who ignores Your love and forgets what

You've done for her... Please help me to notice

You and all Your love in the future and to love others as You

have loved us** in a way I never have before.

Through, YOU, and you alone, is this possible.

Your daughter who doesn't love You nearly enough,

Moriah

**³⁴A new commandment I give unto you:

that ye love one another, as I have

loved you, that ye also love one another.

³⁵By this shall all men know that ye are

My disciples: if ye have love one for another."

John 13:34-35

January 25th 2011

Dear God~

I know you have a plan for my life, and that it's

a good one, but right now it's hard to see past the hurt

Oh, Yahweh, help me to see You, not myself, through the loneliness and pain

Holy Spirit, live through me and help me to be cheerful

even when it's hard.(1)

You make me more than I am,

Your daughter, Moriah

(1) If it is possible,

as far as it depends on you,

live at peace with everyone.

Romans 12:18 NIV